Debbie De Grote of Forward Coaching Explains Why Agents Know What to Do and Still Don't Do It

Why do real estate agents struggle to grow when they already know what to do? Because knowing is not the same as doing it every day. On this episode of Why Do I Suck as a Real Estate Agent, I talked with Debbie De Grote of Forward Coaching, who says she has led more than 100,000 coaching sessions. She shared how to build lead generation pillars, follow up without losing leads, track your numbers, and stay consistent. Curious about this episode? Watch the preview here.

Quick takeaway: Build five to six lead sources, follow up in a CRM, track your conversations, and show up every day.

From Top-Producing Agent to Coach: Debbie De Grote's Story

Debbie started selling real estate at 18. A Sunday school teacher, who was a broker, suggested she get a license to fund college after her parents had an emergency. She loved it so much that she never made it to college. She sold for 16 years and says she ranked number one in her Los Angeles and Orange County market and among the top agents nationally for her company.

Her production caught the eye of Mike Ferry, who asked her to run his coaching business. She did that for 13 years. Then she launched Forward Coaching, focused on custom coaching. She is also the preferred coach for the Institute for Luxury Home Marketing.

Her whole focus is the gap between what agents say they want and what they actually do each day. That is basically our entire show.

Build Lead Generation Pillars Around Your Strengths

Every agent who applies to Forward takes the DISC assessment. Forward Coaching CEO Debbie De Grote likes it because it is clean and usually accurate. A high-D driver may feel comfortable with colder prospecting. High-I and high-S agents often gravitate to warm relationships. She starts where an agent is strong, then adds more levers. A system you do not buy into gets thrown away.

I came from sports coaching, where each player is motivated differently. Real estate works the same way.

"If we take whatever you're already good at and where your business is coming from, and we first identify those gaps, because there always are gaps of what you could do just a little bit better, then right away that gives you instant liftoff on more production. Then we go on to add those other pillars, because I do feel they need to have five to six lead generation pillars. Many agents don't. As I travel around the country, I often find they'll have one or two things, maybe three. And that doesn't always recession-proof or market-proof their business."

Here are the lead generation pillars she described:

Markets change. A few years ago it was almost impossible to find an expired listing. Now it is a huge opportunity in many markets.

Prospecting Consistency: Small Daily Actions Win

Debbie's first broker gave her an hour-by-hour schedule from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. He said she would follow it or be fired. She did not realize she was an independent contractor, so she did exactly what he said.

Many agents want the freedom of a contractor and a big income, but skip the work. Debbie told me about an agent who called for coaching because she kept going into a ditch and digging herself out. Debbie's diagnosis was simple: she was not consistent. Winter slowdowns do the same thing. Agents stop for two or three months, then the spring market arrives and they are behind.

Debbie's fix is small and steady. Do not jump from two conversations a week to 20 a day. Start with five, then move to 10.

"I remember sitting in the car and crying the first time my broker sent me out to door knock, and hiding in the back corner of the office when I had to make calls. But that consistency of that schedule, and doing it every day, every day, every day, within a few months your brain just accepts it as normal. And then it's not so terrifying. I'm working on a book or a class on overcoming the fear of rejection and self-promotion. It is a myth that great salespeople didn't go through that fear."

I also like a tip from a local investor I know. Meet one person a month outside your office and build a relationship.

CRM Lead Follow-Up: The Call-Back Reminder Most Agents Skip

Debbie says the number one system agents need is a great CRM. The best one is the one you actually use. The most underused feature is the call-back reminder. Agents do the hard work of generating leads, then lose them. Good CRM lead follow-up looks like this:

• Add every lead to your CRM.
• Set an automatic follow-up plan.
• Set a call-back date.
• Keep notes on every conversation. Debbie says she can recall a talk from five years ago because it is in her CRM.

Then add systems of leverage. A terrific transaction coordinator is worth their weight in gold. If you dislike social media, hire someone for it. I have two social media people and a TC, and I still want more output.

Reconnect With Your Sphere With a List of 200

I asked why agents ignore people they have already worked with. Debbie said surveys show most clients say they would use their agent again, but far fewer do. Agents tell her they do not want to bother people, or they worry about seeming needy. She also admits she is not chummy. Her style is advisor-first. She might reach out as the fourth quarter begins, say it has been a strange year, and ask what the client wants to know about the market and whether any real estate plans are coming.

I asked for one thing to do today. Her answer was a list.

"Put a list of 200 people you know together. They're your past clients. They're the people that care about you. They're people that know who you are and what you do. Say, this is my 200 best, and I'm going to have a plan to reach out and connect at a high level, and I'm going to work these people consistently. Because for some of the people listening, if they just did that one thing alone, they would probably have some pretty tremendous success."

Track Your Conversion Ratios: How Many Conversations Equal a Deal?

Numbers keep you accountable, and they work like a recipe. Debbie said Gary Keller shared a benchmark at a recent mastermind: about 100 conversations per closed deal in today's market.

Tracking also exposes gaps. If you win 75 percent of the listings you pitch, where does the other 25 percent go? Debbie De Grote, founder and CEO of Forward Coaching, suggests starting now, so the new year's plan uses your own number instead of a guess.

Negotiation Skills, Motivation, and Accountability

For negotiation skills, Debbie recommends the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0. She does not believe in born negotiators. Many agents get good enough to get by, then stop learning. She built a free course of about nine or 10 modules on walking a mile in the other side's shoes.

She also warned me that motivation is like smoke. Purpose is what pushes the button when you do not want to work. The business is hard, many agents lack a blueprint, and few have someone holding them accountable. That is why accountability for real estate agents matters, whether it comes from a coach, a broker, or a partner. Her parting advice is to make repetitious boredom your best friend.

Frequently Asked Questions About Real Estate Agent Coaching

How many lead generation pillars should an agent have?

Debbie recommends five to six, such as open houses, geographic farming, networking, social media, and sphere-of-influence relationships.

How can agents calculate how many conversations they need to close a deal?

Track your conversations and closings over time. Debbie cites a benchmark of about 100 conversations per deal, while noting results vary.

How can agents stay consistent when they fear rejection?

Start with manageable daily goals and gradually increase activity until it becomes a routine.

How can agents improve negotiation skills?

Build emotional intelligence, communicate well, understand the other party's view, and keep practicing.

Connect With Debbie De Grote and Monte Reyment

Visit Forward Coaching or grab Debbie's free negotiation course. You can also find her on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. To find more of my episodes, visit Take Action Realty Group or follow me on Facebook and LinkedIn. Thank you to Debbie De Grote of Forward Coaching. Remember, you do not suck. You are learning.

Apply to Be a Guest on the Why Do I Suck as a Real Estate Agent Podcast

The agents who succeed share their habits, systems, and lessons openly. If you're doing the work and have behaviors worth sharing, I'd love to hear from you.